This is what chemo has felt like so far:

Day of 1st Chemo (I’ll call it Day 1): Mouth feels weird by the end of the treatment, can already feel the metallic taste in my mouth people talk about. I get nauseous fairly soon, but have an arsenal of drugs to deal with that. By the end of the evening, an episode of Friends is far too much for me to keep track of, and I just want to sleep.

Day 2: Between naps induced by nausea meds (which make me sleepy), I actually feel pretty good. I start plans to create an app to track everything. This will be comprehensive! It will help so many people! I will track which drugs I’m getting at which doses, what my nutritional intake is, how much I’m sleeping, how much I’m exercising, what symptoms I’m having, whatever else I’m doing for self-care, etc. This will enable me to graph my progress, and estimate what makes me feel better, and when to expect to feel worse. Why doesn’t this exist already?

Part 2 of Day 2: I’m tired. The app can wait.

Day 3: I’m not even actually sure what an app is right now. I certainly couldn’t make one. I just want to sleep. Taking Miko to her therapy appointment is the big activity of my day, and it wipes me out. Who needs graphs to map my progress, anyway? I feel like crap. Graph that.

Day 4: Feel a little better, but could sleep all day. I drag myself to the very end of Miko’s end of the year performance and try to act like I can engage in civilized discussions with others, but actually I’m just tired and emotional. And I just want my brain back, since it seems to have taken a vacation.

Day 5: Sort of like Day 4. Maybe a little less nausea. Maybe a little less tired. Still no brain function, still lots of emotion.

I’m hoping this day marks an upward swing, and I’m over the worst of this round. Because while it hasn’t been untolerable by any means, people say the effects are cumulative. Meaning, next time could be worse, and I could really use a reprieve before that happens.