Well, the day has come. The rite of passage, quintessential cancer patient day when I lost my hair. Ok, technically I took my hair, or more accurately, Miko took it, because of my aversion to loose hair that isn’t attached to a head, but it was imminent. Every tug at my hair took at least 10 strands, and I didn’t want to see the clumps. That’s just gross. So Brian said, “Well, do you want to wait for it to come, or do you want to take charge and do it today?” So Miko shaved my head.
I was a little emotional about it. I had butterflies in my stomach all day about it, which kinda surprised me. I mean, I don’t really consider myself a very vain person, but this was my one thing. I loved my hair. Which isn’t to say I always loved the way it looked, but that’s just operator error. Or laziness. I did love the way it could look. Like when my hairdresser does it. Or other people with patience and talent. And, most of all, I loved the color. It was different, and made me feel unique.
Yes, I’m aware I’m using the past tense. Because enough people know someone whose hair grew back differently. Maybe curly (yes, please!) or darker, or just a whole different color. Or, as my sister likes to say, a little too gleefully if I may say, gray and fuzzy. And sure, these are fixable things, especially the gray. Well, they are fixable for normal people. But I’m not a takes-a lot-of-time-on-her-appearance type of gal. I’m more of an often-forgets-to-check-herself-in-the-mirror type of gal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in a morning (okay, or afternoon) class and thought, “Did I even check my appearance today? Huh.” And when I let my hair go too long without a trim, I do this ridiculous and irrational thing in which I refuse to do anything to it. Kind of as a punishment. For my hair. Only, you know, my hair doesn’t super care what I do. So it never seems to change its behavior. Weird. So all of this is a way of saying, if it grows back gray and fuzzy, chances are, gray and fuzzy are what I’ve got. Bummer.
I’m aware most of you opened this hoping to see the goods. So here you go! From Mop-top to Cancer-chic in thirty short minutes!
This was before. I was due for a haircut, anyway. It was starting to make me mad.
Miko’s first swipe. I got a little emotional. Also, the sound of the clippers was really too much.
Approaching a Flock of Seagulls-ish look here…
I wasn’t sad here, just trying to fool Miko that I was having a change of heart. She didn’t bat an eye.
Okay, here’s what I look like bald! I have to say that this picture is a little misleading… in person my head is significantly more lumpy. That’s not just my perception. I say it’s the brains.
nopinkribbonsplease 
It’s like you were reading my mind… Why is she using past tense? Isn’t it going to look the same when it grows back? Is she going to post photos? 🙂
Go Miko! Way to support your mom.
Somehow I think you’re gonna fully embrace this cancer-chic look. I’m lovin’ your lumpy brains. xo
I love that Miko got to do it, and that you zapped it yourself. Way to get in front of it. It’ll be beautiful no matter how it grows back. Because of precisely that: it will grow back.
You look fabulous! You should have done this ages ago… really think you look adorable. Miko is also very brave. She will never forget your generosity in the years to come for sharing your process of treatment and recovery.
I’ve been meaning to write you each time your blog has an update. Must tell you this is a first for me. Never blogged before. You should probably be getting your masters in creative writing. Your journey is so personal and I feel so special being a part of it. Sure is different from the other side of the desk. Never understood it quite as clearly. Remember “you is brave, you is strong, you is beautiful.”
Take good care of yourself, my little friend. I have the nuns on it!
Jill
Maybe you can write a book after this. You’ll have all the raw material plus pictures. It’s a huge treat to get these blogs. Mom
Ditto everything that Jill said (by the way Hi Jill!). I already knew that you were a pretty amazing person, but the fact that you can do this blog and share all of this really reinforces that you are an AMAZING and INCREDIBLE person! Sending all my love your way.
Lauri you’re adorable bald!! As someone with long curly hair, I have to tell you that most of my adult life I have occasionally wondered if I could pull off truly short SHORT hair, and I look in envy at women who pull it off beautifully. Long curly hair isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m too chicken shit to do so because I’ve had short hair in the past (though not SHORT short) and I look like a 12 year old boy with a perm and ears that stick out. So I haven’t done it. I am pleased to say that you look like one of the women I look at enviously with their SHORT short hair! Beautiful!
I think that cancer, like me, has always been jealous of that gorgeous hair of yours. Now cancer is even madder that you have such a good looking bald head.
Lauri Mae! I am very sorry for the circumstances, BUT, you are seriously rocking this look. When your lovely red hair grows back, you will be able to threaten it to within an inch (and less!) of its life if it doesn’t behave. Hell, you have just one-upped it forevah. xoxo, Meg
My Aunt is the true G.I. Jane towards cancer! I love your new look and I think that Grandma is right about you writing a book on all of this. You are an inspiration to many women out there who are fighting cancer alongside you! I know you may not see it now but you make me smile as I tell your story to women I know who are going through cancer themselves. Thank you for this blog and for keeping us updated! Miko is the best head shaver I have seen in a while 😉 !
The only thing I would add is that you totally should have rocked a mohawk for a while =)
So here’s the thing, Lauri: women with really short hair look awesome! Most of us are just too chicken (or have heads that are too big) to pull it off. You look fabulous! And it’s a pleasure to read the writer part of you: talented, thoughtful and thought-provoking, and, of course, funny to boot. Thanks for taking us on the journey with you. (And I’m with Cameo – maybe you can do the mohawk when it starts to grow back in!) 🙂 – jen
Looks great Lauri! =) Thinking of you
stunning! I am loving the look and can’t wait to see it in person. Us gingers can be proud of the hair, but we should be even prouder of lumpy brains. 🙂