When I was little, I idolized my sister. What she said was law, and I followed it without question. She was self-assured, assertive, four years older than me, which gave her infinite authority, and had a unique way about her. As I grew older and able to question a little more, forging my own identity, she continued to be a strong influence on how that identity was shaped. It’s possible, though I’m not sure, that social justice would not be such a strong priority for me were I not influenced by her. This has led to a strong interest in politics, as well as a tendency to question the status quo.

Well lately, my status quo is anger and irritation, as I wrote about in my recent post about anger. It isn’t helped by the chemo making me so sun-sensitive, seriously limiting the hours I can be outdoors. Or the fact that I get these transient vision changes, making me dizzy or giving me a headache if I look at a screen or print for very long. All of this limits the activities available to me that might normally divert my attention from the normal state of affairs.

Once again, my sister to the rescue. She recently started 30 days of gratitude and exercise, in an effort to focus on the good in her life. So, I will follow her example, hopefully injecting some much needed positivity into mine. My exercise won’t look like hers, mind you. She says things like, “I ran nine miles today,” or “I took a bike ride around Vashon Island.” Mine will likely be my normal 30-minute walk, because that’s what I can do. But I’ll do it. And I’ll spend a part of each day identifying and concentrating on something for which I am grateful. Maybe I’ll post each thing on Facebook, to keep myself accountable. Maybe I won’t, because I don’t imagine it will be super interesting to others. We’ll see.

Today’s is easy. I am grateful that before entering into my fourth and reportedly most difficult round of chemotherapy yet, I got to spend a weekend with family, filling me with strength. I got to see my parents, who coddled me and had just taken Miko on a whirlwind tour of Seattle. I got to see my sister, who took time off of work to spend with me, made me laugh, and cooked me delicious treats (think profriterole stuffed with salted caramel ice cream, topped with caramel sauce and a pistachio dusting. All from scratch). And her sweet husband who might be the sweetest, most positive person I’ve ever known. I got to see my sweet nephew Scott (twice!) and his adorable boyfriend Keoni, reminding me how wonderful and interesting this next generation can be. I got to see Miko, who I’d been away from for a week, and take her to camp with her cousins. I got to see my cousins when I dropped Miko off at camp. They made me a delicious dinner and made me feel loved. I got to see a new family forming when I spent an evening with old friends, Jon and Dale, and their five-year-old son who they are currently fostering, with the plan to adopt.

All in all, it was a lovely weekend, and I came back to Missoula feeling more emotionally prepared and strengthened to enter this round. I am so grateful for that. To maintain that, I’ll follow in Chris’s footsteps once more. Thanks, Chris. I am grateful for you, too.